Tuesday, August 17, 2010

OUT OF OFFICE

TO: Readers
FR: Me (Jon)
RE: Fwd: re: URGENT TIME SENSITIVE PLEASE ASSIST!
Attachment:  V. Important Document REDLINE -- PRIVILEGED & CONFIDENTIAL -- DRAFT

Thank you for your message.  I (Jon) am currently not on vacation right now.  I do not anticipate being away from my computer, Blackberry, landline, cellphone or desk in the near future.  If I do not respond to your email within 10 minutes, please forward the same message to me, only this time mark it as urgent with a red exclamation point so you can be sure I see it in my inbox.   If 10 more minutes pass, please call my assistant at [REDACTED] and she will send an email alerting me to your call.  Sometimes it helps if your assistant calls my assistant directly with the message that you are looking for me. 

In any event, of course I am happy to assist with this pressing matter.  Please be advised that I am in the office and not in Paris crunching a baguette or in Hue slurping up pho, though I plan to be out of the office next Thursday recruiting at [REDACTED]; the Acela now has wi-fi so I will be available on a consistent basis as needed.  Your email to me that says only "please assist" provides clear and consistent guidance that is in no way vague.  I can easily follow the correspondence you forwarded me from [CLIENT] and I can interpret [CLIENT]'s unambiguous request.  Though I have no previous experience with this issue or knowledge of the relevant legal standard, I should be able to turn this around without delay by COB yesterday. 

In the meantime, I do hope to interrupt Amy/Matt/EB/Josh's posts about vacation adventures with a few short entries of my own.  Please let me know if you have any questions.


Best,
Me (Jon)

1 comment:

Alexandra said...

Jon! you're so cute!